I'm in a long distance relationship... and I need advice?

So long story short, I've been doing a long distance relationship for about a year and four months. The only reason we haven't had the opportunity to be together is because he's in Canada, and I'm in the U.S, so immigration plays a role. I'm having a super hard time with being happy as things go on, and the more our love grows, but I'm not able to be near him. We see each other every few months. He's growing more and more frustrated with me as things go on and I feel more and more depressed, and sad. I think he should be willing to go through the ups and downs with me, but he's thinking that pulling the plug will be better! I'm not understanding how a heart break will be better for me? I don't get it, but he says if it's hard for me now ( 1 yr and 4 months) then, the months to come will be EVEN harder on me, and not necessarily knowing when he'll be able to come down here, or I'll go there is tough. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Have you ever been through a gut wrenching heart break? I need to know I'm not the only one going through this. It's tough, and I feel like I need support where ever I can get it. Please share your story with me... I would love to hear it, and the advise you have








:(I'm in a long distance relationship... and I need advice?
First and foremost, how old are you two? I would think the problem could be easily resolved if you or him moved and lived together. I've been in a long distance relationship for the passed 3 years (he is in the military), and yes, things have been very difficult for us two, but we manage.





The frustration and depression you feel when you aren't together is heartbreaking if you don't have something to look forward to. Is there any chance you two will live together some day? Why does he want to end the relationship? If he loves you as much as you claim he does, shouldn't he try to reunite with you as soon as possible, rather than weighing the odds of being in a long distance relationship? All you can do is love and hope when you are in this kind of relationship..





I wish you the best of luck.I'm in a long distance relationship... and I need advice?
The problem with a long distance relationship is that at some point, one of you needs to be willing to close the distance and move. If you are both as unhappy with the situation as you sound, this is something you need to talk about. Immigration does play a role, and this would be a major desicion, but honestly, its the only way to make this work.
if i understood you right than i think that maybe he doesn't want this relationship anymore and starts to have doubts about that


I wish it was not true, but guys use to blame it on girls when they search for a reason for a break up...


i hope its not true...
i have been in a LRD the last 2 yrs yea its heart but as i can understand u love him and he doesnt as much as u do...so instead of hurting urself break it off ldr's are difficult and not for all the ppl
Write him a letter telling him how much you enjoyed your time together, but alas , it will never be again and to get on with his life.
you just need to keep telling each other you love them because you cant show it youneed to hear that comfort
well me i tired a long relation ship if y'all really love each other it should work
Long distance relationships don't work...trust me.
Long distance relationships never work. From a personal experience to some my friends have gone through it.


He is right, it won't get easier, it will get harder. And yes, almost everyone has gone through a gut wrenching break-up/heart break. No one can tell you exactly how to get through it only that you CAN get through it. Considering what I know, I would end it as soon as possible. If there's no way to be together, than let it go. Let yourself move on to meet someone you can be with.
I know how you feel at least your on the same continent and wont need to learn another language.


Long distance relationships has its highs and lows. What a understatement, I don't have to tell you.


Only thing to do is keep positive about both of your goals knowing one day the two of you will be together.


You keep saying immigration problems, there is a easy way in. Wish you would have explained how there not helping.


But if both of you know your the person they wish to grow old with and be your husband and he wants you as his wife one day. Why not ask him to marry you and finish your education there ?


Goodbyes are always hard even when you know you'll see the person you love in a weeks time.
First of all, dont let people tell you that long distance relationships NEVER work. They're VERY difficult (you obviously know that) But they can work, as long as you find a way to move near each other.





My fiance and I met through a friend who moved from minnesota here to california. We started talking a lot ,and realized we were crazy about each other. That was almost a year ago, and we've been going back and forth as much as possible to see each other, we text literally ALL day, we find routines to balance work,school,and our phone conversation time, basically just do everything in our power to make it work. Sending little letters and gifts helps.





Once I'm done with my associates degree at the end of this school year, I'm moving out to MN with him and we're going to start our life together. Like I said, it is VERY hard and we've had to work through our problems being thousands of miles away from each other, but to us..it''s completely worth it.





However, like I said..this is a lot easier than your situation because we know exactly how much time until we get to be together, and if your situation doesn't change (as in, neither of you move).. I'm sorry, but the chances of it surviving aren't very good especially if he's already thinking of breaking up. Again, it is not impossible..but you can't force him to stay either.





Its tough, I know. My fiance and I just said goodbye about a week ago, and wont be able to see each other again until January, but that will be our last time of having to say goodbye. The next time, I'll be moving there and we can leave the painful long distance behind.





Stay strong, and do what you can to keep it together if you feel it's worth it. You have to make sure he feels the same though, otherwise you're in for a heart break :(





Good luck, and remember..don't let anyone tell you it CAN'T work.
I was once in a long distance relationship. I'm bisexual by the way. We were talking and one day and she said she liked someone and she didn't know how to tell them and I got jealous (at this time neither of us knew we liked each other) and she said, ';I don't understand why you are mad at me! YOU'RE the one I like!';


From that day on we were in a relationship. She was supposed to come to my state that Christmas but things didn't exactly work out. I don't think I was in love enough to have a long distance relationship. To be in one, you have to be committed and I just wasn't. I still have a crush on her and I still feel I made a mistake by letting her go.





My advice is, if you really love him, and he really loves you, go for it. There will be lonely nights that you wish you could be with him, and you just can't. Just keep your head high, and look at the glass half full.
A FAST HEART BREAK IS EASIER AND LESS HURT FULL THEN A STRETCHED OUT HEART BREAK. HE'S SHOWING YOU THAT HE CARES BY LETTING YOU GO NOW BETTER THAN LATER. YOU MAY NOT THINK SO BUT HE'S THINKING WITH HIS HEART...HE DOESN'T WANT THE HURT TO CONTINUE OR GET WORST. IF ITS HARD FOR YOU TO SEE HIM NOW, IT'LL ONLY GET WORSE DOWN THE LINE BECAUSE THE STRESS AND FRUSTRATION IS GONNA BUILD AND THAT ALONE IS GONNA CAUSE YOU BOTH TO STAY AWAY. ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST , THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL. THESE TRIALS IN LIFE ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER
I'm in a long-distance relatiotnship atm too (2 years). He moved to live in Vancouver during his gap year and i was studying in the UK sill, that was about 8 months ago, saw each other for a week a month ago and now i'm in the US studying and he's gone back to the UK lol. Before he went though, he broke up with me. He didn't think long-distance relationships worked etc and thought it would be better to see other people whilst we were apart. We agreed to just keep it casual and remain for friends than lovers and just go with the flow. We ended up staying together.





I was completely heart broken for 2 weeks though, he broke up with me a month before he was due to leave, and than we met and got back together, he left 6 mnoths later and broke it up again (yep it's confusin lol). I was constantly crying etc though each time. At first i thought ';well if he loved me he would try harder to make it work';, i soon realised that he was right, long-distance relationships are soo difficult, it doesn't matter on age or even how in love you are. The whole point about relationships is that you grow together and experience life together, and that's not happening. Love isn't enough unfortunatley. Even now, i'm finding it just so difficult. The only thing that's geting me through is knowin that in 4 months, i'll be returning home to live for good. If it wasn't for that, i don't think either of us could do it, no matter how much we love each other. That's my biggest advise, to always know when you'll be seeing each other again, no matter how far in advance it has to be. But you know, having my heart broken has made me soo much stronger and i would never take it back. And i've learnt that there are sooo many other men in the world, he's not as great as your making him out to be right now i promise, they'll be others, greater!
If its meant to be, and u guys really love eachother, a long distance relationship will work!! It is hard in the begining but it will become easier.......I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 years, and we are crazy about eachother. There are different ways to keep it alive online, like webcam dates, audio, cybersex......etc...If you r both willing to be patient, and believe that your love is stronger than the distance, it will work! Good luck!
The only way to have a healthy normal relationship is for it to move forward - to see other regularly and share everday experiences. As you are so far apart, this is impossible. You both have a life in your own countries and yet, you are expected to act like boyfriend/girlfriend. It just won't work unless one of you are ready to move country and set up home together - that's a big step and therein lies the problem with distance relationships - it doesn't have a chance to develop over time. It will be harder in the short term but you need to move on with your own life - your boyfriend has as much said that is what he wants to do. Of course it will hurt but you can't really miss him that much if you don't see him often.
spare yourself from the pain


long distance relationships NEVER WORK.