URGENT advice needed on possible long distance relationship?

My fiancee and I are going to Graduate school in the fall for our PhD.





The best schools we have gotten into for each of us separate are in LA and Boston, respectively. If we decide to do what's best for our careers and live a high-stress, high-pressure lifestyle, we would be going to those 2 places separately, doing long-distance indefinitely (5-6years).





We also both got into the University of Michigan, which would be a lower stress option, more balanced lifestyle, and ability to live together and get married soon as previously planned. The only problem is that we would be giving up options that others would kill for.





Should we give up the high-stress, fame-and-fortune path at the very prestigious schools so that we can have a lower-key, more peaceful and balanced life and the priceless experience of starting a new life together?URGENT advice needed on possible long distance relationship?
I'm sure there are couples who have managed to balance a transcontinental relationship with the demands of grad school for years on end. I just doubt there are more than a few of them. And if you plan to use your PhDs to work in academia, this problem is not going to go away. The odds of you both finding ideal jobs in the same city, let alone at the same institution, are not high. At some point, sacrifice is going to have to enter the equation.





It's up to the two of you to decide what you value more, but personally, I would either take the Michigan offer (if you're talking about the Ann Arbor campus, I have trouble thinking of a program where it'd be that much of a step down in terms of rigor anyway), or advise one of you to start at your dream school this year and then have the other apply to other local programs next year. True love may be able to survive any separation, but I can't help but feel that the scenario you're proposing would test it to its absolute limits.