In a long distance 'relationship'...we just had a baby 2gether...we are not 2gether now...need helpful advice.

There are not many precedents for this, so be ye warned:





I am sending her child support, come down 2 visit every month, have quit drugs and am quitting drinking, and have been everything a good father is to their son. Our son is 4 months old now.





I want 2 get back with her...





I am in love with her and she loves me but is not ';in love'; with me.





She wants us to be best friends first and then ease her way back to being in love again. I trust her but have waited a year for her.





We didn't know each other long before she got pregnant. She fell out of love with me when she got pregnant.





We are not seeing anybody else currently.





I live in Illinois and she lives in Georgia. I have a good job but am paying off debts and am willing to move down there to be with her, if she can at least show me commitment and empathy.





Advice? Suggestions? Questions? Pontifications?In a long distance 'relationship'...we just had a baby 2gether...we are not 2gether now...need helpful advice.
What stinks is that you can do everything as humanly possible to please her and it still may not be enough. Be aware that you can change, but that you can't change her. At this point, just keep doing what you're doing - send the payments, be a good dad, see your son, etc. I can't see how she can refuse you after all you've done. She has to stop thinking of her own interest and start thinking about the well being of her son. I don't think there's anything better than the three of you being together again.In a long distance 'relationship'...we just had a baby 2gether...we are not 2gether now...need helpful advice.
It sounds like everything moved fairly quickly with this situation. Obviously, we don't have her side of things but it takes time to build a real, sustainable relationship and a pregnancy fairly early on can muddy the waters. The fact that she is not seeing anyone else bodes well for your future plans. You have to spend more than a couple of weekends with someone per month to really know how you feel about them. She may just be waiting to see what you do and how much of a commitment you're willing to make. Either way, you should move closer to your son so that you can be more of a part of his life.
Maybe you should move closer to be a more involved father first. A 4 month old needs more then just a visit. You are missing out on a lot. Maybe by getting closer to your son you win her back.
You should move to Georgia to be closer to your son. However, persuing a relationship with her is pointless. Just be good friends for the sake of your child.
I think your doing the right thing, perhaps maybe even if you moved closer regardless what she wants it may bring you closer together.
There's two sides to every story.





If she is not ready to be in a committed relationship with you, then she's just not ready. At least she is willing to be friends with you and let you in, and see where it goes. That's a start! I would just advise you to let your new baby have all of your love and affection for now, and continue being the best Father that you can be. She will come around. If she doesn't, then don't let her be a gap between you and your baby.





Good luck, and keep your chin up!
You seem to be doing the right things so far. I think you're willing to give up a lot of things for her and your child, that's amazing and I look up to that.





Waiting a year isn't much. Truly in lifes time, a year is just like a second of breath. Just keep your heart in it and do what you feel you need to do. Things will come together as they are supposed to with time and you can't push things or change how they turn out. Keep being positive and show her that you are going to stand by her and in time things will change :o)