I met this man on true.com and he lives locally by me but his work takes him to the middle east and Russia consistantly. We had this instant connection and things have been going wonderful and even talking about commitments and we even both cancelled our account for true. Lately he has gotten very self absorbed in work and it did bother me but mostly since it was the holidays. Anyways I thought things were getting better but last night we chatted and he kept bringing up his bad habits and how he cant change who he is and I told him I dont want to change him. I felt as if he was trying to give me an ';out';. Not really sure on how to handle this or should I just let things calm down. I was thinking of telling him how I felt but I dont want to push things. He did mention to be he does not want to disappointment me or have me disallusioned and wants me to be happy and does not want to hurt me. I guess trying to read what he is wanting and the fact he is 10,000 miles away and wont be home till early March is difficult. He was supposed to be home this next week but work issues put a wrench into that plan and he knows I was disappointed since we had all these plans made. He did at one point talk long term permanent relationship but lately he is constantly concerned if I can handle his life style. Any advice I have not dated in over 23 years so getting back into the swing of things is hard and I have been divorced about 2 yrs.Long distance relationship advice?
It could be alot of things. It could be that he REALLY dosent think you're ready to handle his lifestyle.It also could be that he really is trying to give you an ''out''.Maybe he's just not as ready as you are. To me it sounds like he's being reasonable. You guys live 10,000 miles away from eachother, he's working all the time ...he only knows how to deal with one life right now and thats his. The only way to find out exactly where you guys stand is by talking to him.Tell him how you really feel.Tell him whats bothering you and that you do want to work on a relationship with him. Maybe it'll open up his eyes to your feelings and he'll stop giving you the ''out'' feeling. Communication is everything.If you're not telling him how you feel, how do you expect him to know? Once you tell him how you feel and you guys talk about everything...see how things flow from there.You'll know when something isnt going to work out and when it will(atleast you feel as if it will).Best of Luck Sweety :)Long distance relationship advice?
i think that you have already figured it out yourself. he's not as interested in you as you are in him. you'd better re-open your true.com account.
Tell him that u sense something is wrong with your relationship. ask him what is wrong and tell him that he could be honest with you even if its a bad thing. I had the same problem with my man who I met in a yahoo chat room. He is also 10,000 away from me in Romania. I felt him emotionally distant and when I brought it up and told him he finally told me it was because he was having problems at work with his boss. Let him know flat out that he can tell you anything good or bad. ask him whats wrong and he will tell you. Just communicate with him. tell him how you feel. It might be that he is unaware of what you are feeling.
goodluck!!!!!
I agree with BonesofaTeacher...i am in a long distance relationship. my boyfriend is in the army and we only see each other a couple of times in about 5 months. And with deployment i wont see him for another year.
If he was really into you he would be counting down the days until he sees you. Re-evaulate yourself. Since you havent dated in so long are you just afraid of going out again? Can you deal with the distance? Flat out ask him what his priorities are and where you guys see the relationship in the future. You obviously cannot make him pick between the job and you but maybe both of you need to get your priorities straight.
tell him how you feel about him.. Not too strongly.. Just a little at a time, but you really do need to take into consideration his feelings, and his feelings for his work..
iif you really love him i think you should try,but let me tell you it is really really hard to keep the same fellings whem you are miles away from the loved one special if somebody new shows up thats why is very important to you to be honest special whith yourself and than with him, stop think about and make the right decision wich will be better for both of you. good luck on your decision and do not forget to listen to your hearth and let jesus take the well.
If you're not happy in the relationship, end it. If you are both happy the way things are, he will find ways to remind you of his true feelings, even when he is halfway around the world.
For example, my father is in the military and got shipped to Iraq. While he was gone, he arranged to have flowers delivered to my step-mother weekly, along with little notes that he cared.
he does not want you.
if he wanted you he would be saying
';only 5 more weeks and i'll come home baby and it will be great and lets get married next year, i'll try to get a less traveling job and maybe you can come with me on some of the trips';
he is trying to dump you.
just being kind letting you down easy, making it 'his' fault.
he is dumping you.
love has no boundries so go for if u love him if not then leave it alone
don't do it....long distance= red flag.
keep talk ing to him and teel him how you feel. you never know he might be the one ot help you get into the game again
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